Xmas '08

So this is Christmas. And a recession is looming. Yet Zen is still filled each night with unemployed UWI students partying away their tertiary level studies stress, while visions of Masters Degrees and greener employment pastures abroad dance in their heads.

And so this is Christmas. And Patrick says we have to engage in belt tightening to last through the oncoming economic crash. As though by cutting back a couple dollars on our collective grocery bills, and not building any more schools is going to save our asses when much stronger and more stable economies than ours have been demolished. The amount of people who live below poverty level is at an all time high but that’s ok because we hosting the Summit of the Americas next year. So we’ll just build a wall around the Beetham and call it a gated community. Obama won’t know the difference.

A very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Drink a rum and a ponche a crèma then get behind the wheel ’cause you know you could handle your liquor. Hell, take it up to 120km. Nobody could handle a car like you and the next party starting just now. Those other people who flipped over the meridian or ended up wrapped around lamp posts just didn’t have your skills. Seatbelt? Seatbelts like condoms – they restrict you. You know you’re a good driver both on the road and in bed. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.

And so this is Christmas. And Patrick is recovering from free surgery complements of Cuba while children are dying because enough funds for their life saving operations could not be raised in time and old people are lying on the floors of the San Fernando General Hospital because there aren’t enough beds.

And so happy Christmas. We remember those less fortunate than ourselves, so we donate toys and food stuffs to needy homes and orphanages for the yuletide season but are blind to the increasing amounts of street children for the rest of the year.

A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. According to the newspapers the amount of missing people for the year nearly trumps that of murdered persons, and of the people who seem to have disappeared without a trace, the majority is women and young girls. But Martin Joseph isn’t worried. He’s taking a page out of Jerry Narace’s book – if he ignores it long enough and doesn’t acknowledge it, maybe the problem will disappear. Human trafficking is just a figment of our overactive imaginations. Just like dengue.

And so this is Christmas. And indulgent parents won’t discipline their children for mistreating animals, but they’ll hold their heads and bawl and wonder how he got so cold hearted when sonny boy commits his first murder at sixteen. And a dog dies of starvation and neglect in front of Scotiabank St. Augustine, while people stream in and out of the ATM, wads of cash in their pockets, planning their Christmas Day feasts.

And so Happy Christmas. I’m sure you’ll have fun, just remember the Caribbean is ranked behind sub-saharan Africa with regards to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. But we all know the AIDS afflicted Caribbean is limited only to Haiti and Jamaica and is only the whores and fags in Triniland who have it, and we eh no whore or panty man and we doh do it wit sluts or batty bois, so we know we safe.

A very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. By all counts 2009 will be worse, but not to worry, carnival is almost here; the ultimate stress reliever. So eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we wine.