Of Sex, Porn and Cousins.

I believe I now have an idea of how my mother felt when she found my box of condoms and realized I was on the pill. I had made not the slightest effort, mind you, to hide either, but the poor lady was struck speechless for a few good days after.

A couple weeks ago my little cousin asked me for porn and I felt a kind of cold numbness originate in my belly and ooze outward to my extremities. I had to twice ask him to repeat himself. My ‘little’ cousin is one month younger than me.

What unnerved me was how excited he got when I was able to unearth two CDs and a DVD of the ‘stuff’. I was finally able to see first hand the physical manifestation of a description I often read in novels: his eyes actually shone.

I’ve always wondered how the parents of teenage parents feel. Is it that they are angry that their children have burdened them with another mouth to feed even after they themselves have taken family planning precautions, or is it that they are more appalled at the realization that their innocents have been not only boinking their brains out but have been doing so without protection?

Y’know, it’s funny; when I was still in school, I remember eavesdropping on a rather steamy conversation between two of the more – uh – popular girls. Apparently the previous night was the setting for a clandestine encounter between one of the chicas and her then boyfriend. With all the giggling and the who did what to whom and how, you’d swear they were the only ones who had ever had sex. Ever.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who has noticed this predilection in today’s youth; how they blithely go about with their new found sexual consciousness, ‘discovering’ vibrators, KY and doggy style as if people haven’t been getting fucked since Adam ate the goddamned apple.

When next I stock up, I should probably purchase some extra condoms for cuz. After all, I may not believe in abstinence, but I sure as heck am an advocate for sensible sexual practices. And who knows, if he’s for porn now, the possibility exists that he may also inquire the directions to Villa Capri.