FW:Fw:fw:

The only way I would endorse violence of any sort is if it is wielded against the scum of society: rapists, animal abusers, racists, paedophiles, wife-beaters, wilful environmental polluters and the jerks who insist on forwarding every single email they receive to me.

Ok, so in the beginning it wasn’t that bad. I was just getting into the World Wide Web thing and everything including the porno and casino pop ups were so gosh darn exciting. In those days whenever you stumbled across something funny you just had to send it to your bestest net friend, or when a co-worker’s address shows up in your inbox with the subject “You HAVE to see this!” you look, declare it worthy, and then forward it to Bob because you know he would appreciate such smutty humour. We’ve all done it. But at least have the sense to send the stupid email to only those who would like whatever the message is about.

I hate those religiously themed emails that ask you to send a copy to everyone on your contact list because if you don’t you’re showing that you’re ashamed of Jesus and when you die He’ll be ashamed of you too and will send you to burn in Hell for the rest of eternity. I mean hey, it’s bad enough I’m not liked well enough to be sent a simple “Hey Shrew, how you doin’? Let’s lime sometime.”, but I have to worry about the afterlife too? Oh hell fucking no. The Catholic Church is doing a mighty fine job of that already thank you very much.

Now correct me if I’m wrong (and I doubt it), but wasn’t e-mail’s original purpose to provide a faster and more cost effective way to communicate? Then communicate with me damnit! Personally!

Few things are as annoying to me as receiving the same forwarded crap multiple times from the same asshole. I usually feel like calling them up: “Oh, hey, ummm…about that email you sent me the other day; the one with the little kitty hanging from a twig or something and he’s saying “Hang in There.” That was so cute…the first couple hundred times I got it. Fuck bitch, what are you, retarded? Hey, here’s a thought: how about coming up with your own stuff you un-funny piece of shit.

Man, I’d like to see them forward this.